(This blog post was transcribed from my Facebook live video on 11/9/20)
So today I wanted to come online for a couple of reasons. First, I wanted to share a little more from my heart about my reason about why I do the work that I do. Many of you know my story, but not everybody does. So I just wanted to take a minute to share with you how I got started doing this work that I do. It all started back when I got pregnant at the end of 2010. That was my husband’s Christmas present. I wrapped a frame saying, “you’re going to be a daddy” and it had a due date for the baby. He was so excited; we were so excited. But in January 2011 I started experiencing some bleeding and so I went into the doctor, and that was when I heard the news that nobody ever wants to hear. That was when they told me there was no heartbeat. And I was devastated. I was already 39 years old.
I thought that that was it, that losing that baby. That my time was up, I just, I was so devastated. I can remember after the ultrasound they had me go wait in the waiting room, and they said to wait there until the doctor called me back. And I remember I felt like I had just been hit by a bus. I couldn’t believe what I just heard, and I couldn’t understand, like I couldn’t understand and I couldn’t process what was happening. And I remember looking around in the waiting room, seeing women pregnant with their bellies and holding their bellies and I remember just sitting there crying. And actually getting angry because they put me in a waiting room full of other expectant mothers when my world was just crushed.
So I’ll never forget that day. And after that, I basically shut down. I didn’t, I hadn’t told anybody. I had only told a few people that I was pregnant. And so because of that I didn’t tell anybody that I that we had a miscarriage that we lost the pregnancy. And that created this isolation, I felt alone I felt like there was nobody that understood me, I felt like I just felt like my world fell apart. And again, because I was older I was 39 years old and I thought that that was it. I didn’t think I would be able to have another baby. And I remember my husband and I talking and I was just like, well this is it you know that was our chance. I thought that that was our only chance, and that it just wouldn’t happen for us.
So I just stuffed everything away related to my experience. I just stuffed it all away, didn’t talk about it. I went back to work. I remember there was a big snowstorm. And I worked for the state of New Mexico at that time. And so the work was closed, so not many people even knew I was out of work, because we were closed because of the big snowstorm. And I remember going back to work and having to just act like nothing happened. And that was hard. Acting like my, my baby didn’t just die. And, and I remember I went, I went into depression, and again didn’t talk about it. And then I was on this mission, after, I think it was about a month or so, like, I started coming out of that depression and started to feel better. And I began on a mission to feel better, because I wasn’t feeling good. So I started changing my diet, I started changing what I was eating, I started exercising, all of these different things. I was changing so that I could feel better. And it really didn’t help. But again, I just stuffed everything away, and I was able to get pregnant again. And I was very grateful, but I was also very scared, very scared that I would have another miscarriage, very scared that it would all repeat again. I feel like I hid. That’s what I did, I hid. Most of my pregnancy. I mean I shared about it but it was still there was still a big part of me hiding. And I feel like I couldn’t fully express my excitement for that baby because I was still so sad. And then moving forward. So I did have my baby and everything was okay. And then I started to study natural health, a little more and a little deeper so in 2014, was when I started kinesiology school and looked at the emotional root cause of physical ailments. So, during that time was when I realized how much I had stuffed away related to my own loss. And as I was able to release that and I had a huge release a very big deep cry. And it wasn’t just one time right but there was one significant moment that I did feel a huge release. And from that point forward, I wanted more. I knew that there would be more to help me to feel better. So little by little I was searching for different ways to help myself to feel better and I knew that there was still more inside that I had stuffed away related to my miscarriage. And then I went to a hypnotherapist. And one of my friends had recommended this lady and she said, “Oh, you have to go give her a try. She’s really good.” And I was like, Okay, I’m up to try anything.
So I went to see this lady, and as we started the session, she said, “Can we open sacred space?” And I was like, Okay. At that time I didn’t really know what that meant. So she said, “I’m gonna hand a rattle to you, and just follow me we’re gonna open up all four directions, call in the four directions, and that will create sacred space.” And I was like okay, so she handed a rattle to me. And in that moment that she handed that rattle to me it was like an instant remembering, an instant flood of memories came to me and I instantly remembered that I had been a shaman before I had been a medicine woman. I had been a medicine man. I have been a priestess. All of these visions and images came pouring into my mind instantly. And I was in awe and tears just streaming down my face. And I opened my eyes and I looked at this woman that I had just met. And I pointed to the rattle. And I said, “This is me” and she said, “yes”. I didn’t know when I scheduled the appointment that she was a shaman or a shamanic practitioner. I didn’t know that. And so she, because of my experience and my literal awakening in that moment she led me to her mentor, her shamonic mentor. And so that’s where I started my shamanic training. And one thing that I didn’t mention was when I was in kinesiology school, and I had that big release of emotions related to my loss.
That was when I made it my mission to help other women that were grieving. I knew that if I could feel better I could help other women to feel better. I knew the statistics were one in four women experienced some type of a pregnancy loss. And it was then that I was determined to help women heal from pregnancy loss, and that’s where my practice started. So when I finished kinesiology school, that’s what I started to do was focus on helping women with their grief. And then I also realized that in doing that my clients started to get pregnant.
Then I started on my own path for self healing and then that was when I had that amazing experience with the hypnotherapist and that’s when everything opened up and then I started seeing things. I started seeing spirit babies, I started to feel them, I started to understand the messages that they were giving forward. And it was such an interesting time because I know I’ve always been psychic. I’ve been psychic since I was a kid, I used to be able to tell my mom and dad when things were not right, like I always knew that I was raised Catholic, and because I was raised Catholic. They shut me down, and they were like no no that’s not right that’s not a god, that’s the devil. And honestly, my mom still to this day, thinks that what I do is witchcraft. So, anyway, That’s like another video topic, but talking about my why and why I do what I do is because I have been there. I know what that is like to feel devastated to feel alone to feel hopeless.
And through my experiences, and my training, not only as a kinesiologist but as a shamanic practitioner (and I can’t even tell you how many other classes I’ve taken on energy healing as well as mentoring with a traditional Mexican healer) I couldn’t matter. And, again, my own remembering. It has all come full circle. For me helping with not only death, but with life. The death of a baby is tragic and traumatic. And the birth of a baby is amazing and miraculous. And I am here to kind of marry those to help bring in those souls, help you to feel hope when things feel hopeless, because I can tell you, there is hope. I have been there, and I am on the other side now, and I’m here to bring you with me to show you that there is always a way.
If you have a desire to have a baby. It is possible. It is 100% possible. And that’s where the magic and miracles come in of working with Spirit, working with our ancestors, working with all of the spiritual beings, working with energy, working with that quantum field. I mean this is called quantum fertility for a reason because I know how to tap into that energy, I know how to bring that in and anchor that in. And so the bottom line is that I am here to help. I’m here to help you to have hope. And I’m here to help you reach your dream and your goal of becoming a mom and having a baby or having another baby. So that is my why.
And so, what I would like next is I would really love the opportunity to talk with you a little bit more about your story and your, Your like your perspective on where you are in your journey and how I might be able to help. So I would love to chat with you and that’s part of why
I shared about, I’m doing interviews. I want to make sure that what I’m creating and what I’m doing in my business can serve you completely. And so I would love to interview you and ask you some questions.
I had an interview this morning and it was amazing. So many insights in there. She brought up some things that I hadn’t really considered and that’s why I would love to talk with you about because I want to make sure that I can help you with all different areas and that you might be experiencing something that I haven’t quite considered and I would love to learn about that so I can help you. So I would love and appreciate I’d be ever so grateful for your time. It is about 45 minutes to an hour, just because of the nature of the topic, and you may or may not get emotional sharing your story because I’m going to ask you I would love to know about your story. And then I also share tips with you, so this morning I was able to offer some tips for the lady that I spoke with to help her, so there is something in return for you. And again, I would just love and appreciate your time. So, if that is something that you would love to do, comment below and let me know and I’ll also put my link, and just schedule a time that works with you. I would love to do it by the end of the month. I’m hoping to just gather all of this data as soon as possible so yeah thank you so much. And, yeah, let me know what you think about my story. I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I want you to know that I am so grateful that you are here, and I will see you all soon, much love and Aloha. Bye.